What if I'm a teenager who's a disappointment to my parents?

It seems something has changed—and we don’t know what that is. As others have noted, we often go through ups and downs. And parents can be unintentionally or intentionally cruel—there are lots of research and publications on that. (See for example Oliver James's book, They F*#k You Up (at Amazon https://www.amazon.com/s?k=they+fuck+you+up+James&ref=nb_sb_noss ) 

I will try to encourage you with the following:

1. Strive to live inside-out more than outside-in—that is, do not let the assessments and judgments of others UNDULY affect your self esteem. As long as one believes that we must do what others say, we are living outside-in and while some of that is necessary for good citizenship, too much of it can be self-destructive.
2. SO, that means thinking about what you want out of life and how you can get it. At age 16-ish, few of us know what we want to do in life and what our life’s purpose will be. And you can begin thinking about that—what you want to do with your life.
3. And there’s the issue of hormones and brain chemistry. Do not underestimate the influence of these. Our bodies can produce chemicals that affect our mood and motivation. These feelings can be confusing. One way to level that influence out is to get daily aerobic exercise. Walking, jogging, running, and my favorite taekwondo, will clear your mind and strengthen your body and produce endorphins which create up moods. Traditional, non-contact taekwondo is a great mental and physical workout.
4. If you are depressed, one thing is as others have noted, that you may need to see a counselor. Know that some are good and some are not so good. One visit is usually not enough to know the difference. Sometimes we need a little boost to get our thoughts and feelings back on track. DO NOT look to drugs or alcohol for that boost. They will make things worse. A good counselor will be able to help you figure out what’s going on and perhaps prescribe a medication to give you a boost for a while. I at 73 have wrestled with a bit of anxiety about getting things done over the years, and a little bit of Lexapro, for example, lessens that anxiety just right. There is NO SHAME in seeking counseling. We go to a doctor for bodily aches, why not a doctor for mental aches as well?
5. Whom do you admire in the world? How do they conduct their lives? Maybe finding one or two things to emulate will help you think, “hmm, I could do that one thing.” And if you enjoy it, you may do it more often and get better at it.
6. Do you have one or two friends with whom you can talk freely? Make sure they don’t give you bad advice (like drink more) — and that they are not judgmental. Good friends who care and will listen without telling you what to do are hard to find.
7. You might read Carl Rogers’ book, On Becoming a Person. Or the Book of SELF in my book, A Song of Humanity. Link on Personal Web - James G. Clawson These will help you understand the turbulent (hormones, purpose, relationships, etc) teenage transition period you are going through now.

Okay, I hope this helps. Hang in. The mid-teen years can be very confusing and challenging. If you can begin to identify who you want to be, that will help give some purpose to each day. If that’s too soon, hang in… you have lots of time in front of you. AND it will be up to you, not your parents or others, to decide who you want to become. That’s a dilemma we all face—some head on, others without much thought.