What does it feel like to have Imposter Syndrome?

What does it feel like to have imposter syndrome?

I was raised in rural, very rural, Idaho, born into a converted chicken coop. My mom emphasized learning and doing your homework—so I got good grades as we moved 6–7 times in six years. My parents divorced angrily, my mom remarried, joined a strict religion, and I went to public high school. My first experience with imposter syndrome trickled in during high school. I would hide my grades to avoid the teasing and egghead jokes. I had two options for college and, with my mom’s urging, went to Stanford instead of a local school.

There I had my second semi-conscious wrestling with imposter syndrome. Going to school with the sons of business tycoons and Presidential candidates, the graduates of exclusive private schools back East, I often felt in over my head. I was awed by the whole experience: California, polished students, Nobel prize winning faculty, the “worldly” environment of the late ‘60’s, in contrast with my very strict religion. I left after a year and a half to serve a religious mission in Southeast Asia, another very overwhelming experience, and returned to graduate in a total of 3.5 years “with great distinction” what other schools call “summa cum laude.” In retrospect, I was still very naive.

After graduating with no idea about what I wanted to do, I started and stopped a doctoral program, got an MBA, went to work for a California bank, and then went to Harvard Business School to study human behavior in organizations. One of my cohort mates had been raised reading the Wall Street Journal as a teen; he was much more wise to the whole world than I was by far. The faculty had written the books I was studying. One professor had been on the cover of Time Magazine as one of the nation’s best teachers; and he actually took me under his wing. I was, again, “in over my head.” Awed by the school, the faculty, my classmates, Boston, and the awareness of my modest background. One of the pillars in my field chaired my doctoral committee, I graduated still stinging from some of the comments in my defense, and was hired at HBS to teach—to be on that faculty.

I attended a conference in Los Angeles, got in a minor discussion by the presenter in a session, and two months later was invited to interview at the University of Virginia by the man who’d been sitting beside me at the conference—whom I didn’t know. I also didn’t know where Charlottesville was. The interviews deeply impressed me—they asked about me and my family not just what I had published yesterday. The town was much more “manageable” to me than the greater Boston area. The teaching environment was just like HBS’s only on a more “manageable” scale. I felt “at home.” I talked with my department chair, a very famous man in my field, and he predicted I’d make associate but probably not full—like 90% of HBS untenured faculty. In the meantime, a colleague who’d come up for tenure didn’t make it and went home and killed himself. That was a shock. I thought I didn’t want to be in a position where the reputation of the school was more important than life itself.

So I resigned my six year appointment (I was told no one had ever done that before), and went to Virginia. And been very happy that I did. Those who stayed at HBS and succeeded did so gloriously. They are/were great scholars and teachers and consultants. Many of those who didn’t stick at HBS, came later as candidates to UVA—known like HBS for its case method. None of them were hired—for a variety of reasons. My 38 years at UVA Darden School have been wonderful—widely varied experiences, multiple assignments, great colleagues, wonderful lifestyle. I admire those on the HBS faculty. Actually one colleague and good friend who wasn’t promoted at Darden is teaching now at HBS—the odd circle of life.

Despite an active, productive, successful career and becoming a chaired professor with a classroom named after me, I look at my Darden colleagues and am deeply impressed with who they are and what they have accomplished. So the “imposter syndrome” lingers. In my heart, I’m a rough-hewn, snot-nosed kid from Idaho where my father taught me to shoot, fish, and field dress a large animal. On paper, I’ve traveled the world, had Fortune 5 companies as clients, published 18+ books, 300+ cases and technical notes, and given standing ovation presentations at professional conferences. In the end (71 now), I conclude that the big divider in the world is simply this: Do Your Homework the best you can. Every homework assignment is a brick in the house of your future. Every assignment not done or lazed through is an empty space in that brick wall. Do your best every time. Take the best opportunities you can. And when you get there, be awed, learn from those around you as fast as you can, acknowledge your insecurities, and then note with clarity—you are here, you made it, do your homework. And in my experience, it will turn out okay—better than okay.

Posted on Quora

Why Grade Class Participation?

Why does Harvard Business School grade class participation?

This pertains to the Harvard Business School which was, I think, the first business school to adopt the medical school practice of using actual cases to educate students. The premise is simply and powerfully that the best way to educate practitioners is to put real, current problems in front of them and rely on their joint knowledge and experience to learn from and solve those problems. The implication is consistent with research on adult learning namely that adults learn best when they are actively engaged in topics of importance to them. Listening to lectures is passive engagement; discussing cases is active. The faculty’s job is to organize the right materials, ask good questions (open-ended), and tease the participants to draw, present, and defend their own opinions rather than parrot someone else’s.

This means that someone has to find and write the cases, someone has to plan how to best teach those cases, instructors have to pay attention to the teacher-talk/student-talk ratio, instructors have to have more respect for students, and that every class becomes a little leadership laboratory: can you formulate your opinions, present them, and defend them? Forget whether the instructor agrees with you, he/she will be “gone” at the end of the term—but your classmates are those you will be in business with.

So, we grade student participation after every class. There are many implications from this. We need some kind of student “card” with background information and daily cells for assessing each class. Instructors have different systems. I used a +3 to -3 scale: 3 = nothing left to say, 2=outstanding comment, a double in baseball, 1=reasonable comment, single in baseball, 0=did not speak, -1 = repeated something already said, non-sequitur from last comment, came in late, -2= significant disruption, not listening and fighting everyone else, -3= disrupted the whole class unproductively. One can add these assessments, calculate percentages, etc.

This kind of evaluation occurs in every conversation we have in life: is the other listening? Why or why not? Can I understand what you are saying? Are you blowing smoke? Can you support your conclusion with evidence and logic? Am I convinced? Have I convinced you?

So, case method devotees believe that class participation is CENTRAL to the learning process and to developing more talented, wiser practitioners. Introverts have a more difficult time in case classes. Extroverts can get graded down for dominating the discussion or blowing smoke or just listening to themselves think out loud. I am a strong advocate of case method approach to learning and to predominately student-centered discussion.

For more, deeper analysis see my book Teaching Management (Cambridge University Press) or my Level Three Leadership website with text and video clips at www.nadobimakoba.com.

Curriculum for "Success in Life" School

What would be in your curriculum for a Success in Life school?

Great question. I’ve published my recommended bibliography long since: https://faculty.darden.virginia....

On that list, Driven, The Evolving Self, A Song of Humanity, A Guide to Rational Living, Shadow Syndromes, and The Drama of the Gifted Child would be core reading.

The course topics would include the following:

1. Who am I? Why people behave the way they do.
2. It all comes down to VABEs. (Seeing and identifying semi-conscious Values, Assumptions, Beliefs and Expectations about the way the world is or should be).  People, in general, make decisions more on their VABEs than new evidence.  
3. What’s my story? How to understand your past and create your future.  What future vision do you see?  If not, do you have a story to sell?
4. Can I sell my story? How to influence others.
5. Can I organize to help not hinder? Fundamentals of Effective Organizational Architecture
6. Am I a Change Master? Understanding the change process big and small.
7. Be a Net Contributor not a Net Extractor: how unfettered greed destroys capitalism and democracies.

I have, in fact, been teaching this course worldwide for 25 years on every continent except Antarctica. Personal Web - James G. Clawson See also Getting Below the Surface

I will be curious to see what others will say. Again, great question. We know what Stephen Covey would say (he was my first instructor in business school), what L. Ron Hubbard would say, what Zig Ziglar would say, what the Osteens would say, etc. It will be fun to see what your readers say. 8=)  Posted on Quora.

How does one know when to retire?

How does one know when to retire?

I loved teaching in case classrooms with 40–70 or more bright people debating important issues. Just loved it. I was in flow in there. After 36 years doing that, I realized one summer that I was really tired and not looking forward to going back, starting over with new people, committee meetings, more stacks of exams. So I stayed one more year just to be sure. And yup, it was time to stop.

I met a man on an airplane who’d gone to one of our programs. I asked whom he had for faculty. He said he didn’t remember his name but he was really old. I didn’t want to be that guy. So right time. At my exit interview, my associate dean asked what I was going to do. I had a list of 12 things. He said I was better prepared than anyone else he’d talked with. Many of my colleagues seem to have nothing else to do.

Since retiring, I’ve written two (more) books, built a website, taken up painting, continued teaching taekwondo, played in multiple annual modern, hickory, and gutty golf tournaments, taken up pickleball, organized 30 years of photo albums, and gotten two new grandchildren. I remember my global travels fondly, but grew weary of any travel. All over consulting, Africa, Europe, South Central and North America, Asia, India, Australia. 

Now, I take naps when I want. Every day is Saturday. Trying to wring fullness out of every minute n go into that dark night in a four wheel sideways drift, grinning and shouting wahoo!

What's your purpose in life?  When and how will you know when to slow down and step back?  Or will they remember that you were old, but not your name or what you did?

Are MBAs valuable?

Are MBA's still of value?

Valuable to whom? Salaries are comparable or up at least at the top tier schools. An MBA was never an MBA was an MBA. Like doctors or lawyers or any person working, some do it better than others. Some schools’ graduates have commanded higher starting salaries for many years.

Valuable to you? Do you understand economics? Finance? Accounting? Operations? Marketing? Building teams and designing helping not hindering organizations? Nuances of communicating by voice and written word? Strategy? Managing Change? Ethical decision making? Data analysis and decision making? Do you know how to start and build a new company? If you answered no to any of these, I think an MBA would be valuable to you. Half of it is the wisdom and understanding you’ll gain, the other half is the connections and networking you can do.

I still believe a high quality MBA is one of the best foundations for a successful career—building value and becoming a net contributor to the world—that one can pursue. It’s only 21 months in a top rated residential program. And that can change your life, open a multitude of doors, and more importantly, help you see more clearly how the world works.

A good MBA is still highly valuable to the person who wants to know how things work. To the person who just wants a certificate and is hoping to make more money, maybe not so much. To the person who doesn’t understand the business news but is quick to judge, not so much. If you are the former, learning all of the above on your own would take a lot more than 21 months—if ever.

Why go on if I see no purpose in life?

Why go on if I see no purpose in life?

Most religious people get their reason for living from someone else. In that, they are living outside-in. I spent 35 years living like that until I got so overwhelmed by trying to keep the 600+ Hebrew/Christian commandments plus my job plus my family that I became suicidal at age 48. I got back on track with the help of four things: a good therapist, some meds for my natural some what dysfunctional brain chemistry, a willingness to re-examine deeply my beliefs about the way the world is, and an unconditionally loving wife. I decided to live more inside-out and created my own purpose in life which became “to help people find themselves.” 

That began with me-I’ve had three last names. That purpose is at the core of all my activity with my wife, children, students, consulting clients, and the readers of my cases, tech notes, blogs, and books. I discovered that purpose in life is something we create rather than find or wait to be told. Some despair is a function of brain chemistry which we didn’t ask for. Ditto for early childhood experiences and lessons. There is much beauty and ugliness, kindness and cruelty, good and evil in the world. If we can focus on the former, not the latter, and find what gives us “resonance” or “flow”, and then create our own reason/purpose to continue, in my experience, life becomes interesting , exciting, and fulfilling again. I encourage you to reflect deeply on this, to read my book A Song of Humanity: a Science-based Alternative to the Worlds Scriptures — especially the books of VABEs, Self, and Families therein—and to draft inside-out a tentative purpose for your life before you make any precipitous decisions. 

I have asked myself the same question. I hope my experience will have some small benefit for you.  Create your purpose.  Best wishes.  Big hug.  Posted on Quora.

What is the path to a peaceful mind?

What is the path to a peaceful mind?

Buddhists will say the path to a peaceful mind is to remove desire from your life—if you want nothing, you will not be disappointed. Lawrence and Nohria (Driven) argue that homo sapiens have four basic drives: to acquire, to protect what you have acquired, to procreate and to create. In my experience and education, peace of mind comes from reducing the degree to which the judgments of others (living outside-in) shape your self-esteem. At the same time, the degree to which you expect to be perfect (an extreme ideal self) will erode your self-esteem—you can expect too much of yourself. Many people use an achievement orientation as a measure of self-esteem/worth. 

Accomplishments will not ensure peace of mind. When your Ideal Self (what you expect of yourself) and your Self Image (how you see yourself in comparison with your Ideal Self) match—that is, there’s little to no gap between them, you are likely to have high Self-Esteem. This doesn’t mean sitting around doing nothing—do not misinterpret. Czikszentmihalyi points out that people who set reasonable goals and work to achieve them are likely to find flow. Newburg’s version of that, resonance, depends on knowing how you want to feel and living in a way to recreate that feeling. Most people focus on external achievements even in “love.” 

Do you know how you want to feel? When I first heard that question, I was flummoxed—no one had ever asked me that—only what have you done? If you can figure out how you want to feel before you die, and then learn to live in a way that maximizes that (probably not daily), you are likely to be at peace. If you like yourself, you are likely to be at peace. If you have clinical depression, medications and behavioral counseling will help you achieve peace. If you are in the process of creating something, you are more likely to be at peace. If you have created your own purpose in life, you are more likely to be at peace. 

That’s living inside-out rather than outside-in. If you have been abused, and can deeply understand that this was not you, rather something that was done to you by others, you can move toward peace. Money is no guarantee of peace of mind. The unconditional love of another is a great boost to peace of mind, but no guarantee. My wife is the most unconditionally loving person I’ve ever met—she knows everything about me, no secrets, and she still loves me. Go figure. No one has or did: not my parents, not my clergy, not the god I was taught about, not my teachers, supervisors, advisors, professors—their approval always depended on what I did. Susan accepts—and adores—me for who I am. Amazing.

Peace of mind? If you have irregular brain chemistry, the odds are lower. If you focus on external accomplishments, the odds are lower. If you like yourself, enjoy creating and growing, live for today and not the next life, do not rely on the judgments of others for your self-esteem, and are able to live in a way that you focus on how you feel, the odds are higher. Short-term “highs” from alcohol, drugs, sex, etc. are counterfeits—they make you feel worse afterwards. True peace of mind comes from creating your place in the world and judging yourself by your own standards. I would add, that morally, people who are net contributors rather than net extractors (from society) are more likely to have peace of mind.

Best wishes. You also might find some peace in my book, A Song of Humanity: a science-based alternative to the world’s scriptures. In my experience, believing in things that are not true or real creates a false sense of security—true peace of mind comes from understanding the way things are. Ironically, the truth shall indeed set you free. The truth about who you are, how you want to feel, and the world around you

Measuring the Value of an MBA

How does one measure the value of an MBA? 

I see many measures:

1. The eye-opening growing awareness of how the economic world works.
2. The daily opportunity to practice persuading your classmates.
3. The opportunity to met and build relationships with a lot of very accomplished people.
4. The number of attractive companies who come there to recruit.
5. The average starting salary of graduates.
6. The percentage of graduates who have jobs at graduation.
7. The average size of alumni annual donations (as a measure of their financial success and loyalty).
8. The number of C-level alumni in Fortune Global 500.
9. The percentage of alumni who say their lives were significantly enriched by attending.
10. The number of books written by faculty that you'd want to read.
11. The percentage of classes based on student active case discussions.
12. The number of faculty with Nobel Prizes.
13. Investment in their entrepreneurial incubator.
14. Quality of their international student experiences.
15. The loan payback ratio.

Find the index of those given your priority assessments for each and I'd say you had a reasonable measure of the value of an MBA to you.

Good luck with your choice.  Posted on Quora.

What has been most disappointing after your initial interest?

What has been most disappointing after your initial interest?  Religion. As a child I was fascinated with Oral Roberts on tv, then the ceremonies my parents took me to on certain holidays, then in my mother’s second husband’s religion. Jumped in hook, line, and sinker. Took classes in high school, went on a mission, paid my tithing, obeyed all the rules, became a leader, then by age 48 had a mid-life crisis—wanted to die from the stress of “be ye therefore perfect even as your Father in Heaven is perfect” and the hundreds of other commandments. I decided to start over and began reading widely including things we were told not to read. A whole new world opened up—cosmology, evolution, evolutionary psychology, particle physics, mental illness, changes in “eternal” laws, equivalent passion evident in many different religions, hypocrisy—and religions all became clearly to me large mountains of mythological rubbish being foisted on defenseless children worldwide. My reading and study eventually culminated in an attempt to provide a science-based alternative to the world’s scriptures, A Song of Humanity. A Song of Humanity 600 pages, 20 pages of single spaced references, 920+ footnotes tracing the origin of the Earth and the rise of Homo Sapiens—a rational guide for living that parents can read to their children. Presumptuous, I know, but I couldn’t die without trying to provide an alternative. I never believed in complaining without providing an alternative. In the end, religion of all sorts (I’ve traveled all over the world and read the Koran, Bagavagita, Tao de Ching, Book of Mormon and others and encountered their adherents) seemed to me localized mythology passed on by parents who never challenged what their parents taught them—generation after generation. Religion turned out to be the biggest disappointment in my life. SO attractive early in life, so unfulfilling later in life, and so difficult to leave when you once believed in the horrors to be put on those who step away. When I looked at the violence that various religions have foisted on the world over the millennia, I was appalled and eviscerated. Mustering the courage to question my “truths” was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. People like Ayaan Hirsi Ali (Infidel) have my great respect. It’s a very difficult thing to break out of one’s early childhood imprinting and choose a different path. Historically, millions have been killed for trying to do so. Posted on Quora.

Learning Life's Lessons

Are life's lessons worth the cost of learning them? 

I think this varies from person to person. Some people never learn, they just go through life undergoing as Saul Alinsky once wrote a series of happenings that pass through their systems undigested. Some of the lessons I’ve learned took years to emerge and become apparent. The folly of religion. The white-washed histories of many countries. The challenges of living with birth defects or mental illness. The persistence of early childhood teachings imprinted on defenseless children by their parents. Freud once noted that we spend our adult lives dealing with the residue of our childhoods. I’ve seen that so many times here and there. The mountains of mythological rubbish taught with violence by so many different religions. In the end, if one learns a lesson, it’s worth it. In a conference session I once taught about this very topic, sharing one’s life’s lessons with others, a colleague said wait a minute, that’s like sharing your pearls before swine. I knew what he meant, I’d read that scripture many times. My reply was if you worked hard and suffered to learn an important lesson, why would you want to take it to your grave with you? Why wouldn’t you want to share that with your fellow pilgrims? Who says they are swine?

After retiring, I wrote A Song of Humanity: A Science-based Alternative to the World’s Scriptures to try to provide a summary on One Man’s life’s lessons. In my case, it’s all out there for others to see, read, reflect, reject, or incorporate as they wish. A Song of Humanity  Posted on Quora.