I’m sympathetic. I stuttered badly in high school. Later I learned several things.
- Slow down. My thoughts were often racing and way ahead of my mouth.
- Don’t overemphasize others’ opinions of you. We all worry about the rejection of others. In my case, beginning with my Mother. Learn to rely LESS on others’ opinions for your self-esteem.
- Understand that there are TWO TRANSLATIONS that are necessary to communicate well. Translation #1 is from “happening/experience” to “thought.” Many people live mindlessly unaware of what’s happening to them and why. Translation #2 is from “thought” to “speech.” Thoughts are ethereal floating around on the quadrillion synaptic connections in our totally imprisoned and encased brains. See the chart below.
- Form your opinions consciously. Don’t rely on momentary impulsive thoughts to be the basis for your opinions. Whatever the topic— healthcare, sex, immigration, money, economy, religion— study and read until you have satisfied yourself that you have a reasoned, well thought out opinion. Being on the spot and having nothing really to say contributes to the hesitation and stuttering.
- Practice expressing your opinions. I do this in the car, in the shower, while mowing the lawn, all the time, thinking and then OUT LOUD practicing finding the words to describe my conclusions about hundreds of topics. You have to do this one at a time, so it takes a while to build up your repertoire of opinions, but the time and energy invested is well spent. I practice constantly. My wife says, “Who are you talking to in the shower?” I reply, “I’m imagining the conversation with this CEO when he asks me about XYZ.” This is practicing Translation #2.
- Write your opinions down. Even better than THOUGHT to SPEECH is writing it down. That forces you to find the right words. I often learn from myself from what I’ve written down about the Translation #2 process. Writing your conclusions down is KEY. A diary. A blog. On Facebook. Wherever. This is better practice at Translation #2 than speaking out loud—which is good. See #5 above. When you have found the words to write AND you practice speaking slowly for dramatic effect (and practice that too) you have your thoughts organized and gelled in place and any and every opportunity to express them is welcomed.
- Never express your new found and formed opinions as facts. They are opinions however well researched and thought out. Avoid the stative verbs. (See E-Prime Language) It’s highly arrogant to assume that one’s opinions are absolute truth. It’s all about VABEs.
I hope this helps. Good luck. If you want more, check out my web site. Getting Below the Surface
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