How to Retire

I wish I knew.  A fellow asked me today, given I've taught career management courses for over 30 years, how one could retire.  He was thinking about his situation.  I was thinking about mine.

Some say, "never retire."  Why would you want to stop doing what you want to do?  I get that.  In fact, I've taught a lot about passion and flow over the years (thanks to Doug Newburg and Mihalyi Csikszentmihalyi), and if one is passionate about one's work/profession/activities indeed, why retire?  I have a colleague who declares they will carry him out in a box.  So, for some (many?) retirement means giving up life.  In stragne support of this view, there has some data that noted that something like three-quarters of retirees died within 18 months of their retirement.  If you have a role/job you love, and you're still good at it, and it fulfills you, why not continue?  My personal physician is in his eighties and going strong.

Some say retire as soon as you can so you can live the 'good life.'  One hears people talking about how quickly they want to retire.  Babblings of the naive?  What would the good life be?  Playing golf every day?  Lounging on the couch or beach or porch?  Writing novels in Key West? Surely it depends on how one defines the good life.  My friend and co-author Doug Newburg defines success as "when it's over, you want to do it again."  Not money.  Not fame.  Not power.  Bill Clinton recently (this is 2011) said he's doing what he loves.  What would you like to do over and over again?  What could you do for months on end without losing energy and engagement?

So I get that some people are more, what, Type-A or engaged or passionate.  I've been/am a workaholic and have read the books on it. (e.g Diane Fassel's work) If a highly engaged lifestyle is in your blood or better said, "habitual routines," would you be happy retiring?  I've met both types as I guess you have: those who LOVE their retirement and those who are bored and end up going back to work.

Is retirement just about how much financial stake you have?  The headlines these days trumpet the Boomer's anxiety about not having enough to retire.  The government keeps raising the eligible age.  Is retirement really the holy grail after which we all should be seeking, the life of "leisure?" What if I/you had $100 million in the bank?  What would you do?  Quit?  And do what? You're probably aware of the research showing that the majority of those who win the lottery would give it back because it ruined their lives. "Sure," you say, "don't throw me in that briar patch!  Let TRY it!"   

A new insight hit me today, though, after my friend asked his question.  I do like doing what I do, I just want to do it more at my pace.  I realize that's a loaded statement.  What is "my pace?"  I've grown weary of meeting other people's schedules.  Of canceling things I want to do for things I feel obligated to do.  I love variety.  My job is great for me.  A professor of business enjoys opportunities to read, write, gather data and make sense of it, publish, teach, work in administration, consult, travel the world, and meet daily interesting and highly energetic people.  We are largely in control of our own schedules, way more than many other jobs.  I lucked (read "trial-and-errored" myself) into a profession that suits me to a T.  AND I'm getting a bit weary.  I want to set my schedule more. I no longer want to have to get up to be somewhere.  I'd rather get up to workout--at my pace.  I know, whine whine whine.  Not really.  I love my job AND I'm getting tired.  A colleague advised me recently, "you know what, you can slow down.  You've earned it."  The comment sounded very reassuring and encouraging.  Then I wondered, "Is that how deadwood is formed?"  I don't ever want to be deadwood.  Heaven and my mother forbid. 

So, a new definition of retirement is emerging for me.  How about for you? I'm imagining retirement as a diminishing and lengthening sine wave, reducing the amplitude and the frequency until gradually and peacefully, I'm able to continue enjoying my broad interests without pressing or hurrying, rather, letting the natural pace of my lifespan settle down.  Nancy Gross' quote on the importance finding a pace 'which neither hurries you nor holds you back' suits me here.  I admit I've been trying to live like that for decades, usually unsuccessfully.High engagement does produce a lot.  And in my case, some weariness.

A colleague came into my office the other day and said, "Wow, I look around and you seem like someone who's lived two or three lifetimes in one."  Hmm.  He offered it as a kind of compliment.  In my mind's eye, I remember my mother's constant advice about never making a deadhead run--that is, never coming or going empty-handed, even from one room to the other; you could always be carrying something.  Like many,  I often have trouble relaxing.  I embrace this better now than before.  Maybe that's one step on the road to a diminishing sine wave retirement; accepting who one is.

So, I'm writing this while watching golf and feeding the dog.  The peaceful pace cannot come from outside-in, only from inside-out.

We might think of several types of potential retirees here:

1.  Person who dislikes work and always has and wants to get out as fast as they can.  This person's major constraints are savings and lifestyle.  The lower your lifestyle standards, the sooner you can retire.  Healthcare is a huge part of this calculation.  We still need to figure out in the wealthiest nation on earth how to handle the growing health tidal wave of the Baby Boomer generation.

2. Person who loves what they do and can't imagine not doing it.  For this person, retirement is perhaps just slowing down as the abrasions of age takes its toll.

3. Person laid off or 'forced' into considering retirement.  This person requires some careful reflection about who they are, what they want to do, and if they have  the energy to make it happen--which is likely to mean making some changes in life-long habits.  These folks probably grind on this issue as much as the first group.

4. Person who has lots to do besides work.  These people can find fulfillment in charity work, writing, art, athletics, and other non-professional work experiences.  For this person, life after work is not threatening rather a pleasant invitation to attend to avocations long admired and contemplated.  But will they actually like them when they are faced with just those?  Thought about learning a language or taking up guitar?  What if you get bored or sore fingers?  What if you move to be near your children and create waves in the relationship?

Retirement doesn't have to mean the same for all.  Generically, ceasing to work for livelihood seems like a good definition.  That doesn't mean we have to cease living or producing or enjoying or creating.  Even those growing a bit slower and having a bit less energy know that being human means finding enjoyable activities, preparing and anticipating, executing, and enjoying the experience of doing.  This will likely be true until the last day we are able.